Tough Times, Tough Parenting
Think how much harder it is these days to protect our children than how it was when we were kids. Our parents let us wander around the neighborhood as long as we came home before dark. They left us in the car while they went shopping. They left us home alone and didn’t even lock the doors.
But today, we are much more concerned about protecting our children. We want to protect our kids from physical dangers, personal traumas, and emotional crisis. Some children experience the pain of their parents’ divorce or the fear of a parent fighting in the war. Other children may be fighting a serious illness.
When children are surrounded by painful experiences, our tendency as parents is to try to compensate by being more lenient with our children--especially when it comes to discipline.
We do not want to add any more perceived negative experiences in their lives, so we let up on the discipline and we don’t deal with unacceptable behavior.
Because extra care and love is needed by children who have suffered loss in their lives, it may seem easy to just give in to a child’s demands. However, the over-lenient parent is not helping but essentially hurting the child. Yes, as parents we need to provide additional love, but at the same time we need to continue to be firm. By setting limits a child will have a greater sense of security.
Checking the condition of your child’s heart is a good place to start. If you find your child in stressful situations, don’t say, “I’ll go easy on him.” Instead, shower him with love and set firm limits. Giving him consistent discipline will assure him that there is control in his present world that seems out of control.
May Jesus give you wisdom as you parent your kids through tough times.
Bonnie Aldrich
This tip was taken from the CD series called Single Parenting: Brining hope and practical help to single, blended and reconstructed families by Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller, RN, BSN.